Broken, Lost and Needing to be Saved
by Calli-fanfic2881
Summary: Ciel had lost his parents and he feels lost. He self harms along with his best friend Alois. This is a Seb/Ciel story with very little Claude/Alois. Modern day America. Characters are OOC. M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

So this is my new Seb/Ciel & Claude/Alois story. Ciel self harms so if you don't like please don't read. Alois is Ciel's best friend and he self harms also. This doesn't fit with my Neko story, which I will be updating soon, but I wanted to write it while I had the idea.

The story takes place in Modern America.

Anywhore. I do not own Kuroshitsuji.

Enjoy.

* * *

Leaning up against the bathroom wall, cool silver sliding against his wrist, blood dripping down onto the navy rag on his lap. He wasn't loved. God hated him so much he took his parents away. The only person in the world that even seemed to care enough to listen was Alois; even then he didn't love him. Alois was just as broken as he was, but he had Claude. And one day Claude will take Alois away then he'd be on his own, lost again. He knew he was broken; he had panic attacks when he thought about his life too much and he cut when too much piled on him. He was broken and lost, and just needed to be saved. Softly the blade fell from his fingers as he laid his head down on the cold floor. Tears descending down his cheeks as he closed his eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Waking up the next morning he washed up the floor and the rag before he left the bathroom to get ready for the day. Opening the door to his bedroom he looked up to see a very excited Alois sitting on his bed. "Hey. Guess what?" Alois said with much more enthusiasm than needed. Without giving Ciel time to respond, like he wanted to anyway, he continued. "I was talking to Claude and he said he wanted to meet you."

Ciel sat down next to Alois and looked over to face him. "Why?"

"He said since I talk about you so much that he wanted to meet my best friend." Alois said leaning over and hugging Ciel taking his soft, frail hand in his own, laying his head on Ciel's shoulder. "I love him so much." He sighed, cuddling into his best friend.

"I'm glad you're happy." Ciel said bringing his left arm up to push the hair out of Alois's face.

Alois grabbed Ciel's left hand and dragged him farther up the bed and threw the covers over them. He lay down next to Ciel and kissed his wrist. "Come on lay down with me. I can't imagine that the bathroom floor is very comfortable." He wrapped his arms around Ciel's waist and buried his face in his best friends chest. "I'm here and I love you. Now go to sleep."

And that's what he did. The warmth, and comfort of his best friend lulled him to sleep. He still didn't dream but he got to rest. He knew Alois would still be there when he woke up so he slept with no worries.

* * *

They had slept most of the day and when they woke up it was almost dinnertime. Jumping up and getting dressed they both raced down stairs to meet Mey and Red for dinner. Red was Ciel's aunt and Alois's caretaker. Mey had been Red's assistant for 3 years and had also become part of the family, she had her own room in the house and she was allowed to come and go as she pleased. The only family time the bunch really had was dinnertime; they all sat together at the table, talked and ate before going their separate ways again. This was because Red and Mey were always busy and Ciel and Alois were either at school or up in their rooms.

When they got down stairs Red was cooking and Mey was setting the table. "Hey boys help Mey set the table please and make sure to set out a place for Bard. He wanted to come visit for a bit before he went to his moms for a month. Poor woman's been sick." From the smell the boys could tell Red was making spaghetti and meatballs, her own personal favorite.

"Yes ma'am." They both said before grabbing some plates and heading into the dining room to help Mey. Bard was Red's most recent ex but also an old family friend. He, just like Mey, was always welcome at Red's house.

Dinner was just like every other dinner with small talk here and there, some laughs, and some old, shared memories. After dinner everyone cleaned up, Bard went home, Red and Mey went back to work, and Ciel and Alois went to their rooms. Most of the time if the boys went to their own rooms they would text until one fell asleep, if they fell asleep at all.

"Hey are you sure you're okay with meeting Claude? You don't have to.-AT"

"Yeah it's cool.-CP"

"I'm just excited my best friend and boyfriend are finally going to meet. Is it weird living next to him so long and only knowing his brother Finnian? –AT"

"Nahh. Finnian's nice, besides I haven't even met their mom. And we go to school with Finnian so it's normal. –CP"

"Hmm that's true I guess. Are you nervous? I know how you get with new people. –AT"

"A little but that's whatever. –CP"

"Good. I'll come get you tomorrow when I go. –AT"

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow. –CP"

"If you need anything, text. Goodnight. –AT"

"Okay thanks. Goodnight.-CP"

Curling into his pillow, Ciel went to sleep. Tomorrow would be a long day.

* * *

Ahhh I hope you liked it. And it's not really the fact that Alois doesn't love him, and isn't his best friend, that's just the way Ciel feels. Well Review please?


	2. Chapter 2

I'm back. I updated my other story for the people reading it but I'm ready to continue here… Well lets get started shall we?

I do not own Kuroshitsuji!

* * *

The next day Alois woke Ciel up around noon to go to Claude's. After he got ready and had a small bite to eat for lunch they headed out the front door. "I talked to Claude some more last night and he said if it makes you more comfortable Finny can sit in there with us. Also I hope it's okay… Um he's not really there for you to meet unless you want but Claude wanted to introduce me to his best friend Sebastian." Alois said as they stepped down the old wooden steps of the porch.

"No it's fine." Was all Ciel replied as they continued their walk. He wasn't much of a morning person and he hated waking up no matter what time of day it was.

As they made there way down the sidewalk Alois grabbed onto Ciel's arm trying to show a little support to his friend. He knew, no matter how hard Ciel tried to hide it, that Ciel was nervous. It was a natural thing for Ciel he never really got out of the house and when he did he rarely socialized. But Alois would be there to help him no matter what. Finally stepping onto the porch of Claude's house Alois rang the doorbell, letting go of Ciel's arm. When Finnian answered the door he instantly started to get onto Alois. "What did we tell you about the doorbell? We know it's you just come in."

"Sorry Finny it's just so much fun." Alois giggled as he dragged Ciel into the door. "Is Claude in his room?"

"Yeah him and Sebastian are in there waiting on you to bring Ciel." Finny said smiling. "Would you like me to come to Ciel?" He asked finally paying attention to the dark haired male.

"If you want." Ciel said trying not to sound like he needed Finnian there, even though he really wanted him to be.

Finnian smiled and started up the stairs with Alois with Ciel in tow.

* * *

Finally reaching the top of the stairs Alois started pointing out doors to Ciel filling him in on what was what. While Ciel tried to keep up Alois kept going at his own pace losing Ciel all together. Trying to remember which door Alois had said was the bathroom Ciel rushed in. Thanking his memory when he realized he was in the right room. Ciel wasn't really one for running from people but it was different with Claude he meant a lot to Alois. What if Claude hated Ciel and made Alois stop being friends with him? Then he really would have no one. Ciel started to breath deeply splashing cool water on his face hoping to calm down so he didn't have a panic attack in someone else's house. Finally calm again Ciel dried his face off and turned towards the door hoping to find Claude's room with just as much ease.

When Ciel opened the door and stepped out he ran into a solid object and fell to the ground landing on his ass with a loud thud. "Ow." He mumbled lightly before realizing he had actually run into a person.

"Oh um… I'm sorry. I wasn't really paying attention I guess." The 'object' said before reaching over to help Ciel up. "I'm Sebastian. I'm Claude's friend… Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?" Sebastian asked looking Ciel over.

"I know who you are. Well kinda anyway. And no, I'm fine." Ciel said dusting himself off.

"Good. I was just on my way to get something to drink when the door opened and it kinda shocked me because I didn't think anyone was in there." Sebastian said still watching Ciel.

Ciel nodded then finally looked up to Sebastian. He was gorgeous. He was about six feet tall, shoulder length black hair and burgundy colored eyes. He had his left ear pierced and it held a small black stone. He was wearing a black v-neck shirt, gray jeans and black Converse. Noticing he was gawking at the taller male in front of him Ciel spoke. "Umm do you know where Claude's room is?"

"Yeah it's just down the hall a little ways. I could take you there if you'd like, or you could follow me to the kitchen to get something to drink first. I'm coming back up to Claude's room after anyway." Sebastian said as he smiled at the blue haired male in front of him. Ciel just looked up at Sebastian not really knowing what to say. "It's okay if you don't want to. I just thought it'd be best so I wasn't making two trips and plus it gives the boys a bit to themselves."

"Okay." Ciel smiled. He was expecting something different out of Sebastian. He thought he'd be more like how Alois describes Claude, hardheaded, very mature, strong minded. But he wasn't he seemed more laid back, which seemed to calm Ciel.

"Let's go." Sebastian laughed as he started to head back down stairs, turning slightly to make sure Ciel was following him before he got to far off.

*****Sebastian's POV*****

'He sure is a cute one.' Sebastian thought as he stepped down the last three steps. 'Alois is more of a brat and very energetic, while this one's more calm and shy. I wonder if he'd open up to me if I tried? I don't even know his name yet.' Stepping into the kitchen Sebastian turned to watch as the smaller male leaned on the counter, looking down to the floor at his feet. 'Damn he's adorable.' He thought smiling before he grabbed him a glass out of the cabinet.

*****End Seb's POV*****

Ciel watched his feet while Sebastian grabbed him something to drink. He hoped Sebastian didn't see him gawking earlier he would die. Ciel didn't move until he heard Sebastian speak. "So what's your name? I'd hate to have to call you 'that one' all day."

Ciel looked up to see Sebastian standing next to him. "Ciel."

"Heaven." Sebastian said smiling. When Ciel gave him a quizzical look he continued. "I took French two years ago as a senior in high school. Your name means Heaven in French."

"Oh." Ciel replied never knowing the origin of his name. "What does Sebastian mean?"

"I don't know… I never really thought about it I guess." Sebastian responded. "You ready to find out where Claude's room is?" He said as he walked off a few feet, before being followed by the smaller male.

* * *

A worried Alois jumped Ciel when they finally arrived at the room. "I didn't know where you were. I was hoping you didn't get scared and run back home." He whined hugging his best friend's neck.

Before Ciel could even speak Sebastian was already explaining what took Ciel so long. "I ran into him on the way to the kitchen and had him follow me so he would know how to get there later on." He smiled heading back to sit in his spot, on the bed, from before.

"Are you sure that's why or did you just want to kidnap him?" Claude asked looking over to his best friend.

"You wound me. Can't I be sweet sometime? And hey it's not kidnapping, it's a surprise adoption." Sebastian laughed receiving a shoe being thrown at him. "Hey be nice Claude." He said throwing the shoe on the ground and sticking his tongue out.

After the little laughing fit Alois introduced Ciel and Claude and they sat down to talk, which Ciel did very little of. The most he did was nod to agree with the many stories Alois told. Letting his mind wonder a little Ciel sat back, leaning against the foot of the bed, sneaking a peak at Sebastian every now and then.

"Hey Ciel did you hear me?" Alois asked waking Ciel from his thoughts. "I said that Claude's mom Hannah said we could stay for dinner if we'd like. Is that okay or do you want to go home?" Alois asked with a smile, silently begging his best friend to say they could stay.

"It's fine." Ciel said returning the smile.

* * *

When dinner came everyone sat around the table. Claude was next to Alois; Ciel was in the middle of Alois and Sebastian, next to Hannah sitting by Finnian, both across from Ciel. After being introduced to Hannah Ciel felt a tad bit more comfortable being in the house, which helped him loosen up a bit. He started laughing lightly when someone made a joke and he seemed to perk up a little. When the conversation moved to only small conversations between the others Ciel and Sebastian sat there listening to little bits but not paying attention much.

"So Ciel do you always wear long sleeve shirts when its 90 degrees out?" Sebastian asked quietly hoping not to upset the younger male.

Ciel instantly put his hands in his lap under the table. "Yeah sometimes." He said turning his head away.

Sebastian noticed the change in Ciel's tone and leaned in to his ear. "It's okay. I'm sorry." He whispered making sure no one heard him. Having Sebastian so close to him Ciel blushed and put his head down trying to hide it before he started to eat again, making sure to use his thumbs to keep his wrists covered. If Sebastian noticed his long sleeves there's a chance he could see his scars too.

* * *

After dinner Ciel and Alois got ready to go but not before Sebastian pulled Alois to the side. Ciel watched as they talked for a minute and Alois hugged Sebastian. Walking down the sidewalk Ciel looked over to Alois. "What did Sebastian say?" He asked as he looked down to his feet, waiting for bad news.

"He said that he wanted to get to know you better and that if you wanted to you could have his number to text him." Alois responded jumping up the steps of the porch. Before he swung the door open singing about their arrival home.

"Is that all?" Ciel inquired fiddling with his sleeves.

"For the most part yes. The other part was for me so it's okay. Come on." Alois answered kissing his friend on the cheek before dragging him up the stairs to his room. When they got to the room they sat on Alois's bed and Ciel looked over at him. "Would you like his number? It'll help you get to know more people. Plus I know you like him."

"I don't like him Alois. At least not like that… I barely know him." Ciel trailed off.

"Ciel." Alois lifted Ciel's head up with his hand. "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that it looked like you had found another person that you could get close to. You've never openly talked to people like that before. Usually you try to hide but you seemed like you wanted to talk to him, that's a good thing Ciel." He finished smiling.

Ciel nodded and looked at the bed. "Yeah I guess you're right. May I have his number?"

Alois smiled and hugged him before he gave him the number. "He said to make sure you tell him it's you so he knew he was talking to… okay?" Ciel nodded again and typed the number into his phone before he hugged Alois and went to his own room.

He decided to text Sebastian before he went to sleep.

"Hey it's Ciel. –CP" He sent.

"Hi. I guess you got my number from Alois?"

"Yeah… Thanks. –CP"

"No problem. I'm sorry about tonight… I shouldn't have bothered about the shirt."

"It's okay… You're not the only one to ask. –CP"

"Oh. Well may I ask another question? You don't have to answer if you don't want."

"Go ahead. –CP"

"Why do you hide them?"

'He knows.' Ciel thought as he laid his head down. "How did you know? –CP" he sent.

"It was a guess until I seen you hide them. Why?"

"Cause I don't want people to know. They'll be disgusted. –CP"

"I'm not."

"How? –CP"

Because I have no reason to be. The scars don't define you Ciel. I want to know you so I can prove that to you… Will you let me?"

"Yes. –CP"

* * *

Haha well it is 4 in the morning here and I've been up writing this so I hope you enjoyed this very long chapter. Any questions about the story or the reason I'm writing it this particular way you can Pm me or leave it in a review.

Review?


	3. Chapter 3

So I decided to update this earlier than I was going to. I hope you like it. Also if my kittens would be so kind to go read my Bio I would love you.

* * *

This chapter will have more background on Ciel, how he got to where he is in life and how Alois came to live with him. And as for the fact that I hate Lizzie, she will only be in this chapter. She won't come up anywhere else. This is just to get you filled in on how my story kinda flows and how I basically came up with the Ciel that you have read about. This really isn't necessary for the rest of the fic so you may skip if you like.

No I do not own Kuroshitsuji or any of the characters…

And yes the way I portray them in my story will be different then how they normally are because I can't really fit their old attitudes into modern America. Sorry.

* * *

**8-years-ago**

Ciel had been sitting in his room when his mother called him. "Coming mom." He called, shutting his book and running downstairs. Jumping down the last few steps he noticed his mother standing by the front door with a guest. "Yes mom?" He asked stepping up to her and the girl standing next to her. The girl had blonde curls, a bright pink dress with shoes to match, and bright green eyes.

"I would like you to meet Elizabeth, her parents just moved down the street last week. She's your age Ciel and I think you would be perfect to be her first friend in a new place." His mother said stepping aside from the two.

"Hello I'm Ciel." He said smiling.

"Hi Ciel." The girl said with a little more enthusiasm than needed, making Ciel jump slightly. "You are so cute and small. Please call me Lizzie. It's nice to finally make a friend." She finished quickly. Proud with her work Rachel smiled and left to let the two get better acquainted.

Lizzie dragged Ciel outside and begged him to play hide and seek with her. After a few rounds of chasing Lizzie around Ciel got tired and asked Lizzie inside to play with some toys and a snack. And even though the girl was a bit rambunctious Ciel and her became good friends.

* * *

A year had passed and Lizzie and Ciel had become closer. And slowly over that time Lizzie had developed a crush on Ciel and even though she never said anything Ciel caught on to the little things she would do and seen right through her façade. The thing was, that Ciel did not feel right returning the feelings. He just knew that there was no way he could like Lizzie.

A few months before Ciel's 10th birthday Lizzie owned up to her feelings. "Ciel we've known each other for a few years and I know we're best friends and I just wanted you to know that I like you more than a friend." This was no news to Ciel but he was still a little shocked that she was confessing to him. When she received no response from Ciel, Lizzie leaned over and kissed him. It was strange and felt weird, he didn't want to be kissing her, he wanted to push her away and tell her she was nasty. It wasn't about the kissing; he just didn't want to be kissing her. Lizzie leaned back away from Ciel when he made no move to kiss her back. "Ciel?" She asked staring at him not hiding how upset she had become from not receiving a reaction.

Snapping out of the slight trance Ciel was in he looked over to Lizzie and spoke calmly. "I don't like you Lizzie, and I don't want to kiss you." He didn't mean to upset Lizzie, he still wanted to be friends, but he hurt her and she would never forgive him. She ran away from Ciel mad, and tears streaming down her face. What Ciel never knew was that would be the last time he would ever see Lizzie.

* * *

On Ciel's birthday his mother and father had been making him a birthday dinner and dessert when the house caught on fire. Ciel had gotten out in time, but sadly his parents were still in the kitchen were the fire started. When the emergency vehicles showed up Ciel was lying on the ground in the front yard crying. The medics carried Ciel away while the fire fighters put out the fire and searched the house.

Waking up in the hospital Ciel panicked searching for his parents, screaming wishing it was all just a dream. When he was finally released from the hospital Ciel was sent home with his Aunt Angelina Durless. She lived a few states over and he had been to her a house a few times. For a year Ciel grieved his parents, going to school he would keep to himself and wouldn't talk much at all, even to the teachers. At home he would eat the go to his room. That was until he met Alois Trancy. A new kid to his school and in Ciel's class. At first he ignored Alois like he did everyone else, that was until Alois spoke in class about his life, and how he had no parents and lived with a foster dad. Ciel knew how it felt to not have parents and tried to talk to Alois after class.

Despite Ciel's shyness he soon became friends with Alois. When Alois told Ciel about how many foster kids his foster father had Ciel talked his aunt into adopting Alois. Soon after living with Alois Ciel found out the truth about his foster father, Alois's foster father was a child molester and he had touched Alois. Ciel was furious but Alois made Ciel promise not to say anything. They promised to always keep each other's secrets no matter what and they kept that promise. When Ciel started cutting Alois showed Ciel his scars and held his best friend when he cried. Spending years with Alois made Ciel a little happier and stronger, which in turn made his aunt happier to see the old Ciel coming back.

* * *

In their first year of high school Alois and Ciel were outcast but soon found their own group to call friends, even though they never really got that close. Alois was more outgoing then Ciel but he always made sure he had his bestfriend there with him along the way.

When a junior that had been his friend since they met asked Ciel out Alois pushed Ciel into dating her, neither knowing Ciel was gay yet. After a month of dating her she tried to kiss Ciel, at first Ciel leaned into the kiss knowing he had liked her a lot, and then Ciel noticed he didn't like kissing her. He softly pushed her away and wiped off his mouth, looking at his feet he thought. He didn't like kissing Lizzie either, it was really the thought of kissing any girl. He wasn't gay was he? He had never thought of kissing a guy, what he did know was that he didn't like kissing girls. Would he kiss a guy? The thought didn't make him want to vomit… maybe he was gay. Looking back up he seen his girlfriend had left and he was sitting there alone.

Getting home Ciel knocked on Alois's door, and walked in when his bestfriend allowed. Sitting down on Alois's bed he spoke. "Alois… I think I might be gay. I don't like kissing girls, I never have. And even thinking about kissing a girl makes me kinda sick, but when I think of kissing a guy I don't get sick." Alois just smiled at him when he finished.

"Ciel it's okay to be gay. I know cause I'm gay, I always have been. I don't like kissing girls either. If you don't like girls that's okay, I'll still be your bestfriend." Alois said as he hugged his bestfriend.

"But how do I know if I'm really gay?" Ciel asked quirking an eyebrow hiding his face slightly.

Alois leaned over and kissed Ciel on the lips and when Ciel slightly kissed back Alois pulled away. "That's how." Alois said ruffling Ciel's hair. "If that didn't disgust you then I'm sure you're gay." Alois laughed.

Ciel blushed. "Thanks Alois." He said as he hugged the blonde before going to his own room.

* * *

So that was kinda weird to write but I hope it kinda gave you a little idea on how I'm working my version of Ciel, and Alois. Ugh well please visit my bio and I hope you liked this enough to review.

Bye kittens, I love you all.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello my dear readers! I am back with an update!

No I do not own Kuroshitsuji.

* * *

Recap!

He decided to text Sebastian before he went to sleep.

"Hey it's Ciel. –CP" He sent.

"Hi. I guess you got my number from Alois?"

"Yeah… Thanks. –CP"

"No problem. I'm sorry about tonight… I shouldn't have bothered about the shirt."

"It's okay… You're not the only one to ask. –CP"

"Oh. Well may I ask another question? You don't have to answer if you don't want."

"Go ahead. –CP"

"Why do you hide them?"

'He knows.' Ciel thought as he laid his head down. "How did you know? –CP" he sent.

"It was a guess until I seen you hide them. Why?"

"Cause I don't want people to know. They'll be disgusted. –CP"

"I'm not."

"How? –CP"

"Because I have no reason to be. The scars don't define you Ciel. I want to know you so I can prove that to you… Will you let me?"

"Yes. –CP"

* * *

Ciel woke up to the sound of his alarm going off. It was one in the afternoon, thankfully it was the first week of summer so he didn't have to wake up early, and he had nothing planned for the day. Dragging himself out of bed, Ciel walked to his closet to gather some clothes for after his shower. Walking towards his bed his phone beeped. Picking it up quizzically he read the text. 'Hey would you like to hang out today?' Before he could type a reply Sebastian text again. 'You can say no if you like.'

Ciel rolled his eyes the typed a quick reply. 'Sure. –CP' Throwing his phone down, he made his way to the shower.

After his shower Ciel got dressed and checked his phone again. 'Cool. I'll come get you at 3.' It was only 1:48 so he had a little time to relax before Sebastian came to get him. He grabbed a book and sat on his bed reading to pass the time.

Ciel looked up from his book as his phone beeped again. "What time is it?" He asked in a low whisper as he checked his phone. It was 3:27 and he had 7 unread texts from Sebastian. Thinking the worst he opened the most recent, he read. 'I'm still outside if you haven't changed your mind.' Jumping up and running out of his room, down the stairs, and to the front door. He yanked the door open and jumped as he saw Sebastian sitting on the steps a few feet in front of him.

Standing and turning to Ciel with a smile, Sebastian spoke. "So you didn't change your mind?"

"I'm sorry." Ciel responded looking to the ground. "I was reading and got carried away. I never planned to change my mind." He added making his way to stand next to the taller male.

Sebastian just smiled. "I'm glad." He said as he made his way down to the path.

"Umm… Where are we going?" Ciel said shaking his bangs in front of his face.

"It's a surprise." Sebastian grabbed Ciel's hand and started to drag him down the street.

* * *

When Sebastian finally stopped Ciel was huffing air. Looking up he saw that they were at a park. Not just any park, the most beautiful park in town. It was only 9 seven blocks from his house but he rarely got out to go to it, but when he did he sat there for hours. It had big trees that covered it in mostly shade, a pond that sat near the back, and a path that circled it and lead back out to the road they just arrived from. Mouth agape Ciel looked up to Sebastian. "Do you like it here? I figured with the way you acted you didn't like socializing much. The park is perfect just for the two of us." Sebastian said with a smile.

"Yes." Ciel breathed with a blush dancing on his face as he looked back over the park. "This is my favorite place to go, it's so beautiful…" He trailed off, now looking at their still intertwined hands. Noticing him looking, Sebastian lightly squeezed Ciel's hand showing him he wanted them to stay like that. Sebastian's wishes didn't come true as Ciel softly pulled his hand away, shaking his hair in his face.

Laying his hand on the blunette's shoulder Sebastian spoke. "Come on lets go for a walk. After we can go for some ice cream." The mention of ice cream made Ciel perk up and he gladly followed Sebastian. After a few minutes of walking in silence Sebastian spoke again. "So Ciel you don't have to answer if you don't want, but –um- why do you cut?"

Ciel stopped his steps and looked to the ground, using his right hand he covered his scars on his left wrist. "I lost my parents when I was young and ever since my life hasn't been the same. Cutting is my way out of the pain." He exhaled. 'Why did I just tell him that?' He questioned himself. 'It's not like he's going to care. In the end he's going to leave like everyone else and I'm going to be alone again.'

"I'm sorry about your parents Ciel, but you don't have to cut any longer." Ciel looked up to ruby eyes confused. "If you need anything or if you feel you need to cut just talk to me. I'll help you." Sebastian confessed looking down to the younger before enveloping him in a hug.

Embracing the taller males chest Ciel laid his head down. He had never felt so safe with anyone before, not even Aly, but with Sebastian it just felt natural. He could be around him with out being afraid and having a small anxiety attack. After a moment Ciel pulled away and looked down to his feet, Sebastian made him feel content, he loved being with him. He still felt a little worried but every time he started to worry too much Sebastian seemed to bring him back to Earth to comfort him, and he loved that. Stepping a little closer, Ciel started to walk along side Sebastian again, this time listening as the ladder started to make small talk. He talked about his family and school life trying not to sound to conceited. He just wanted Ciel to know more about him, but Ciel didn't mind he loved the stories, they were like little audio books in his head that he could imagine as they went along.

* * *

Arriving at the ice-cream stop, after they finished their walk, they sat down at a small table waiting as a waitress came by to take their orders. They both ordered something simple and talked as they ate. "So Sebastian how did you meet Claude?" Ciel ask nervously fiddling with his food.

"Well we were both in the same class so it was natural that we became friends." Sebastian answered matter-of-factly smiling at Ciel.

"Oh."

"Yeah, we hit it off so as time went by we became best friends. What about you and Alois?" He asked hoping to get some information out of the other.

"Well you see we met in class too, and after we became good friends Red allowed him to come live with us in the house, ever since then he has been my best friend. Even though sometimes I feel he just sticks around because he feels he has too." Ciel answered looking to his slowly, melting ice cream.

"Don't think that Ciel. By the way Alois acts I'm sure he cares for you, he doesn't seem like the type to hang around if you're a burden of any kind." Sebastian reassured.

"Thanks." Ciel blushed standing, along with Sebastian, after finishing their desserts.

* * *

The walk home wasn't long, even though Ciel hoped it would take forever. As they started to leave the restaurant Sebastian had grabbed his hand and hadn't let go. Standing on Ciel's front porch Sebastian still had his much larger head connected to Ciel's smaller hand. "Please text me later." He whispered as he leaned down to embrace the smaller male. With a light peck on the cheek, Sebastian had let go of his hand and he was gone.

Walking through the door Ciel was attacked by an over excited Alois. "So how did the date go? I'm guessing good since you are blushing like and idiot from a peck on the cheek. Oh come on Ciel its not like he took your virginity… Wait! Did he? That bastard he better not have! I'll whoop his ass! Awww come on Ciel tell me tell me tell me! How was it?" Aly said practically jumping up and down. Before he could continue Ciel put his finger to his lips.

"It was amazing Aly. Really. But I'm tired so I think I'm going to go lay down for a bit. I'll text you." He said with a smile starting up stairs. Reaching his room he pulled out his phone. He started with all the little details his best friend needed to know before he texted Sebastian.

"Hey I'm very tired so I promise to text tomorrow. Okay? –CP" He texted hoping not to upset and scare the older male away.

"Okay sleep well. Sweet dreams Ciel."

And sweet they were, he finally dreamt that night without having nightmares and he was finally allowed a peaceful sleep.

* * *

Ohhh well I hope you liked it I'm sorry I have taken so long to update. I promise if I can get enough reviews it may motivate me to update sooner.

Alois: Ohhh "_Aly_"! I love the nickname.

Me: Well I figured that's what I call you when I talk about you in real life so I added it to my story.

Alois: Hmm you talk about me? _**;)**_

**…**

Anyways Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay so I figured before I continue I would fill you in on some information.

I actually do cut, and I have panic attacks. I wanted a story that would relate to others like me who are having hard times in their lives to try to let them know that they aren't alone. Everyone goes through things, but we all cope with it in different ways. If anyone of my readers are going through something and they feel the need to self-harm please just message me and let it all out. I am here to listen to you. That is the reason why I am writing these stories, so you can read and get your mind off of whatever you have to. I check my inbox everyday after school and every night before I go to bed. Please stay strong. You are beautiful and are meant to be here, you are not a waste never let anyone tell you that you are. Stay strong.

This is just a cut of dialogue from me and a close friend of mine we both self-harm and so I figured this would fit with Aly and Ciel. My texts are Ciel's.

* * *

"It just hurts so much. I don't want to be alone anymore Aly. –CP"

"I know but you won't be alone forever, and remember you do have me even though it doesn't always seem that way, but I promise I'm here. –AT"

"I know Aly, but what if you can't be here, then I'll be alone. I can't be alone forever. –CP"

"I know, I'm sorry. Please stay strong I still need you. No one wants to lose you imagine how Red will be. She already lost her sister, she needs you too you know. Please stay strong. I love you Ciel. You're my best friend. I can't lose you. –AT"

"I'm not going anywhere Aly. It just hurts so much and even though you love me you can still leave in the end. –CP"

"I'm not leaving you Ciel. Ever. –AT"

"Thanks Aly. I don't think anyone will ever care for me as much as you do. –CP"

"I wouldn't be to sure on that. Once someone gets to know you they'll fall head over heels for you. Life gets better just stay strong babe. I promise it'll work out in the end. You'll have someone so in love with you they'll never want to leave your side. –AT"

"Really? _CP"

"Truly. Now get some sleep its almost two in the morning. –AT"

"Night Aly. –CP"

* * *

Okay so I know it's very short, but I just wanted to do another short update during my lunch break. I hope you enjoyed it. Please stay strong loves.


	6. Chapter 6

Oh guys I'm sooooo sorry for taking forever to update! :( But I hope you enjoy this chapter…..

Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji.

This will be **Seb's** take on the date.

* * *

**Recap:**

The walk home wasn't long, even though Ciel hoped it would take forever. As they started to leave the restaurant Sebastian had grabbed his hand and hadn't let go. Standing on Ciel's front porch Sebastian still had his much larger head connected to Ciel's smaller hand. "Please text me later." He whispered as he leaned down to embrace the smaller male. With a light peck on the cheek, Sebastian had let go of his hand and he was gone.

Walking through the door Ciel was attacked by an over excited Alois. "So how did the date go? I'm guessing good since you are blushing like and idiot from a peck on the cheek. Oh come on Ciel its not like he took your virginity… Wait! Did he? That bastard he better not have! I'll whoop his ass! Awww come on Ciel tell me tell me tell me! How was it?" Aly said practically jumping up and down. Before he could continue Ciel put his finger to his lips.

"It was amazing Aly. Really. But I'm tired so I think I'm going to go lay down for a bit. I'll text you." He said with a smile starting up stairs. Reaching his room he pulled out his phone. He started with all the little details his best friend needed to know before he texted Sebastian.

"Hey I'm very tired so I promise to text tomorrow. Okay? –CP" He texted hoping not to upset and scare the older male away.

"Okay sleep well. Sweet dreams Ciel."

And sweet they were, he finally dreamt that night without having nightmares and he was finally allowed a peaceful sleep.

* * *

Sebastian's POV-

I couldn't go home after the date; I had to go see Claude. He has dealt with these types of feelings before.

I mean sure I've dated before, but they were all girls, not that I was actually into girls. I only dated girls so my father would be happy, but when he divorced my mom last year I vowed to never date girls again. Even Claude knew I was gay, and when girls would hit on me he would laugh with a quick remark of "Sorry girls, but this boy's strictly dickly." which always got me out of weird situations. But these feelings are different. I'm happier when I'm near Ciel and I didn't notice until he left Claude's house last night. That's when I knew I had to be with him.

Jumping onto Claude's porch I threw open the door and ran inside, then upstairs to his room. Bursting through the door I waited for a response, only receiving an all-knowing smile. "What's that smile for?" I asked.

"How was your date?" Claude chuckled.

"How did you know? I'm pretty sure I didn't tell you because I didn't want to ruin it."

He laughed and put his feet up on his desk. "Ciel is Alois' best friend. Alois is my boyfriend. News travels fast my friend."

"Oh." I replied sitting down on the floor by his bed. "So then you know why I'm here."

He just smiled again and nodded. "I believe I do. Why didn't you want anything to ruin the date?" He asked this time changing his expression to actually looking confused.

"I don't know." I answered looking away.

"Yes you do. You really like this little one don't you?" He asked, this time that expression was back.

"I don't know. I can't explain it, all I know is I really want him, and I want him to see that." I replied Answering his question in the only way I could.

"This one seems tough Sebastian, you'll have to work at it. Make sure he's worth it before you get hurt. That's what I did with Alois and I don't regret it." He added completely serious. I know how he feels for Alois, there's nothing he loves more. I want to have that, maybe I will with Ceil.

* * *

Smiling I waved to Claude as I ran down the street back to my house before my mother had a fit. I have a lot to think about, but the subject is well worth it. Now I just have to find a way to prove it to him.

* * *

**Eeekkkk! So I hope you liked it. For now the story will be cute and fluffy, because I mean awwww!**

Alois: Awwwwww Claude!

Me: Hush Aly.

Alois: Haha you called me Aly again. *giggles*

Me: Ugh

Okay so please review!


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